Brian

Hard work rewards!

2009-03-26T00:29:00.007+08:00

As you might know, one of my favorite topics to blog about, is my kids.
I have 4 children: Melvin (8), David (4), Janella (3) and Sean (7 months).

I would like to share this story with those parents who have kids, but can't seem to figure out why their child is not performing as well as he/she should in school, or behaving badly in and around the house.
Grab a cup of coffee, it might take a while to read it all, but it just might help...

It was about half-way through the school year, when Chariz and I realized that our oldest son, Melvin (then 7 years old), was having issues at school.
Now I know that one might think: "He is in second grade, how serious could it be?", but with kids, these are the kind of things that if you don't nib them in the butt, they could become real issues when they get older.

His grades were steadily going down, and even his conduct in school deteriorated. He was hanging out with the wrong friends, who were distracting him from his school work, and even kept him from concentrating in class.

I never thought that my working late had this much effect on my son, but it didn't take long for me to realize that the fault was actually with me.

You see, I ended up working an average of 13 hours per day, for almost the entire first 3 quarters of 2008. Of course, the effect of that was that I hardly saw Melvin anymore, because by the time I would get home from work, he would be asleep and by the time he went to school in the morning, I was either still sleeping, or already at work again. In the weekends, the two oldest boys usually spend the time with their grandma.
This prolonged distance between us had its effects. One day Chariz and I had a talk, and she confronted me with it. At first I was shrugging it off: "I still see him sometimes" and "it wouldn't have that much effect", but when I had a chance to really think it over (and think back to when my dad used to be away for long periods at a time), I started to see the correlation.

As my eyes were opened to the situation, I also started seeing why David and Janella were becoming increasingly harder to handle. They were naughty, shouted at each other, and in some rare instances, even shouted at their mother.

It was at that moment that I decided that I had to step up and do something.
I had to prioritize my family and make sure that the children could see their father regularly.
I had to listen to Chariz and take charge.
I had to change...

First, I made sure that I would go home at a more "normal" time. I made sure to get home every night before 8PM (the kids' bedtime) so that they would at least see me everyday. I also made it a point to be up in the morning when they woke up, so that they could see me before I left for work. This alone already started having its positive effects within days! David and Janella were less aggressive with each other, and whenever they had the nerve to raise their voices to their mother, Dad would be there to give them "The Look". It helped and whenever I was out, Chariz would not have as hard a time anymore handling them.

Then I had a long talk with Melvin (this was already in the second half of the 3rd quarter of the school year). I talked to him in a suggestive way, so that he would actually answer in his own words what I wanted him to know. It made him realize that the smart kids were "cooler" and that he could learn from them. My presence in the house also had the effect that he was more serious in his school works, and of course I made the time to tutor him when needed.
We made up this point system where he would score points for his test and exam results. Good scores would earn him points, and bad scores would cost him points. Average scores would do nothing to the points total.

Of course you need to put a reward to a system. There has to be a result to the work and actions that you agree upon. Since Melvin had already been asking for months, if he could have a PSP (Play Station Portable), we decided to make that the reward.
The points-bar we made went from 0 to 100. If Melvin would reach 50 points before the end of the school year (keeping in mind that most of the school year had already passed), he would get the PSP, but it could take a while. The closer he would get to 100 points, the sooner he would get his reward after the last day of school. Both Melvin and I were thinking that 60 to 70 points would be reasonably doable, and that 80 to 85 would be exceptional. Especially considering that Melvin had only 3 months to go in school, with not that many tests and exams left.

As a result, he worked extremely hard. He studied wherever he went, and spent hours reviewing materials, doing homework, making sample tests, etc. He would spend whole weekends doing nothing but making sure that he would get good scores in the tests in the week ahead. We would sit for hours working on the subjects that he was having trouble with. He changed his attitude in school and actually started encouraging other students to be better. He started teaching his brother and sister how to be good kids.
He would come home from school with big smiles on his face bringing in nothing but great scores, even a lot of perfect scores. Of course every time when he got home, we would immediately chalk up the points to make sure the points-bar was up-to-date and the progress was visible.

On the last day of school, Friday the 20th of March, 2009, Melvin and I sat down after school and tallied the end result. As we counted everything, we looked at each other in amazement and couldn't help choking up a bit...
He had made 119 points.

Both of us beamed with pride as we went and told Chariz about the result, but of course we could not avoid it anymore...now Chariz and I had the task of buying the PSP. Yesterday evening we were able to get it and as I walked into Melvin's room, with the PSP box in my hand, I asked him if he knew what it was. He looked at the box with confusion as he couldn't clearly see it, and as he came a little closer he realized what I had in my hand.
He looked up at me with what I could only describe as a hesitant mixture of happiness and sadness, completely silent, and tears started to well up in his eyes. Without uttering a word, just by his look, he was asking me if this was his PSP and all I did was nod my approval.
He started crying, jumped up and hugged me without end.
"Thank you papa, thank you papa, thank you thank you thank you, I love you papa, thank you papa". Chariz was looking at us with tears in her eyes, and I could not hold back either. I don't think I have ever seen anyone be so thankful and appreciative. He said: "I am happier now than all the happy people in the world put together!". I told him that he deserved it and that I was extremely proud of him. The result of all the hard work that he had done, had completely exceeded any expectations any of us had. Including himself.

Congratulations Melvin. We love you! Well done!

A year to remember...

2009-03-26T00:28:00.004+08:00

We are extremely lucky to have gone through Sean's birth without any complications, but after seeing how much Sean looks like David, brings back some not so good memories of David's first year (2004).

This is the first time that I am actually blogging about this, and it has been almost 5 years since it all started. Yet until today, Chariz and I still think back about it and look at pictures of that time. It's still as if it was just yesterday, and still not a day goes by that we don't think about it.

By the way, be ready, this is another one of those long reads...

On the day that David was born, he was diagnosed with Hirschsprung's disease, where part of the large intestin does not contain the proper cells to make his stool go out properly. When he was 7 weeks old, his entire system was infected, because he could not get rid of his waste. His tummy was so bloated that we could actually trace the veins in his skin, much like an over-inflated balloon. Because of his tummy, his lungs did not have enough space to properly expand and contract, and he had a hard time breathing. for this same reason, he could not drink his milk either, and he started losing weight. His fever reached 41.5 degrees.

We went to the emergency room at the hospital, where he was examined, and blood tests were done. We were told that they had to immediately admit him to the intensive care, because his life was at risk and waiting any longer would probably mean the end.

His red bloodcell count was so low that the doctors could not perform any surgery yet, since any minimal blood loss could be fatal, but 12 hours after I gave blood to stabilize him, they were able to prepare for surgery. The chances were 50-50 that he would survive...and even if he would survive, there was the worry that he had not had a proper oxygen supply delivered to his brain for too long and that there was a chance that it could have long-lasting effects...

Chariz and I had such a hard time believing that this was happening, and we were trying to stay strong for each other, and seeing our 7-week old son connected to machines, and with tubes in his nose and tummy did not make us feel much stronger either. Yet every time we looked at him, we could somehow see his strength and see how vigorously he was fighting. To see him being so strong, made us feel a lot stronger as well. He actually became our source of strength, so in a way, it was this little baby that pulled us through this experience.

The procedure:
First, prick through his behind, to open up a path for all the toxic waste and gases to get out of his body.
Then, cut open his tummy, externalize his large intestine, and connect a colostomy bag to catch his stool. He would be pooping through his tummy into this bag for the next year...

After about 3 hours of surgery, by some of the best doctors available, he was brought back to the intensive care, where we could do nothing but wait and see if he would stabilize. Slowly but surely, we could see the improvement of his condition, and we could not help but cry tears of joy to find out that the surgery had been a huge success. He was going to make it. David, the little fighter, was going to be OK...

He had to crawl, and then walk around with a colostomy bag for almost a year, and had to go through another 3 major surgeries before he was declared 100% healthy. Over that year, he also had to undergo tests, to see if any damage had been done to his brain. None.

David is now one of the most resilient and strongest toddlers I have ever seen. Every time we see him running around, we can't help but think back to this boy, who at 7 weeks old had nothing but a 50% chance of living.

Whenever I am having a bad day, I think back at what happened to him, and I realize how small our problems really are. How we can make such a big deal over such small things, only wasting our time forgetting the things that really matter.
Looking back, I can see that we were lucky to have gone through this, learning how to appreciate what you have, without the terrible tragedy of losing someone.

As I am writing this, I can't help but think about Michelle and her loved ones, who are going through an extremely hard time right now. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I hope that if you read this, it will help you - even in the smallest way, to find a source of strength in yourself, which you know is there. You all will be OK.

To anyone else who reads this...
Realize what you have and be happy and grateful for it. Don't waste your time thinking about how bad things are, and how they could be better. Instead see how good the things are that you do have.

Sean Brandon Andrada Altman

2009-03-26T00:27:00.002+08:00

From August 15, 2008:

It took a while, but after 38 weeks of being very comfortable in his mother's womb, Sean Brandon was born a healthy boy on August 15, 2008 at 5:10 PM.

He weighed in at 3,050 grams and was measured at 47 cm tall (the smallest one at birth so far). Melvin was 52 cm, David was 50 cm and Janella was 51 cm.

After a few very tiring days at the hospital, we are now finally at home, taking advantage of the rest we can now enjoy. But hey, I shouldn't complain about a few sleepless nights, Chariz did all the hard work, and you have to admire someone for doing such a great job...especially after having done it so many times already! :-)

The other 3 kids are extremely happy. They are so cute with Sean, and especially Janella is very caring towards him (a real big sister already and she is only 2!).

Oma is helping out a lot. Luckily she lives very nearby, and the kids are staying with her at the moment. Something Oma always enjoys because she can never get enough of her grandchildren! :-d

For now, we are enjoying the new addition to the family, and take some rest as much as we can...we know from experience that there will be many more sleepless nights to come, which we will of course welcome with the greatest of love and happiness!

Welcome to the world Sean!

The view from the outside

2007-07-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

Wow, I have to say, I am completely amazed with the blogging community here in the Philippines. The big event at Taste Asia last night (maybe one of the biggest bloggers events ever so far in the Philippines), has given rise to an incredible response in the blogger's community.

Ok ok, I know, what do I know about the blogger's community right? I've been blogging for what....16 hours??? Well, so far I have been reading up on as many blogs as I could, and everything is about Taste Asia, Aileen Apolo and Google, SM Hypermarket, Yehey and Mall of Asia. I think I must have read over 50 blogs so far with hundreds of comments, but I had to stop reading because I still have to get up early and go to work tomorrow! These are compelling reads, and it is incredibly fun to read about all these people who have known eachother for quite a while -- in some cases even years, but never even met in person.

Sara Cada's blog even said: "They're not anymore the cool writer who comes up with nice content for his blog. They're now friends, and commenting on their blogs and reading their comments now has a different feel to it" and although I didn't get a chance to talk to many of the bloggers present, the atmosphere was absolutely relaxed, friendly and fun and I have the feeling that as a noob blogger (as in!!), I'm entering into a world of friends rather than into something unknown...

Thanks to all pinoy bloggers!!

A few pics from Taste Asia

2007-07-04T20:59:00.001+08:00

Some of the pictures I took during the Bloggers Fest at Taste Asia.
I know that I probably don't know a lot of you, but feel free to comment on the pictures! Some of you will probably even recognize yourselves on them... :-)

Aileen starting off the evening	Robert Kwee announcing the prizes
Ahhh...The chocolate...	The party went on outside
For the smokers among us...	Everybody was up for a shot!
One of the sponsors

Bloggers Fest at Taste Asia

2007-07-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

For the first time ever (as far as I know, I am just a first-time blogger, but this is what I heard during the event), a REAL Bloggers EB was organized by Google, Yehey and SM Hypermarket. The venue was Taste Asia at Mall of Asia on Tuesday July 3, 2007 at 7:30 PM.

Aileen Apolo (of course everybody knows her from An Apple a Day) was the one who managed to invite all bloggers she knew, and the response was simply amazing! Well over 240 bloggers (some solo, some in pairs, others in packs!), guests and sponsors freed up their evening time to join the EB where free snacks and food were in abundance and drinks were free flowing. More than 40 bloggers even ended up going home with cool free give-aways but one of the highlights of the evening must have been the magic show by Mister Vader (I was really amazed how he got the rubik's cube done on-stage in under 10 minutes, blindfolded! Haha!).

I got to Taste Asia just before 7 PM. Having the honor of being one of the judges, I had to be early but the downside is that I can not enter anything to try to win the trip to Kuala Lumpur (the grand prize for the best blog in the contest)... :-)
As soon as some of the bloggers started arriving, I immediately saw the casual and relaxed atmosphere taking shape. It was as if this was an area full of friends, people who have known eachother for years and years. After an hour or so I found out though, that a lot of the people had not even met any other bloggers present! I think that the casual, friendly and relaxed idea as it was cooked up by Robert Kwee and Aileen contributed to this and really got everyone feeling right in their element.

As soon as bloggers entered, some even immediately started blogging in the corner where HP and Acer had laptops ready to go, connected through the free WiFi available at Taste Asia. I even read a few blogs that were written during evening at the event!

I think it took only about an hour or so and at around 8 to 8:30 PM, the place was packed. Aileen introduced herself on-stage, the hosts got the evening going, Robert presented the prices to be won (with a huge ovation when he mentioned the trip to Kuala Lumpur as the grand prize!) and everybody just mingled with everybody. It was absolutely great!

Although I wasn't really hungry after eating a very late lunch at 3:00 PM, I couldn't help but allow myself to enjoy the food. I really enjoyed the Chicken Pandan, the Chips as prepared by Apet himself, the tempura, the pizza slices, the siomai, the chocolate, the ...everything! I know I just summed up a lot of food, but if you see me in person, you will understand... ;-)
Hats of to Taste Asia! The food was absolutely excellent!

In short, I think the evening was a huge success.
I have read blogs from at least 20 bloggers during and after the event ended (in other words, in the last 24 hours), and everybody was thrilled and excited about the event. I hope this event sets an example that will be followed soon, because I am definitely looking forward to the next one!

Congratulations Google, Yehey and SM Hypermarket!!

One thing I know for sure. Because of the great atmosphere, excellent food and of course, the free Wifi, whenever I have the time, you will find me blogging at Taste Asia!! Hope to meet you bloggers there... :-)

Don't forget to check out the SM Hypermarket website
Another place to blog for free: IAMD Blogs (I just started this, so there is only 1 blog there so far!)